Granny Likes Fifty Shades

Young Lady: Excuse me do you have Fifty Shades of Grey?
Me: Yes, You'll be number 25 on the waiting list
Young Ladies Boyfriend: Whoa! that's a lot. Did you read it?
Young Lady: Slaps boyfriend.
After this request I became curious. Why on earth did she slap her boyfriend for asking me if I read a book? Well, I came to good ol' google to find out. After reading a synopsis I understood the smack. He had some nerve asking me if I read the book in front of his girl. I would smack you too.
This was two months ago. The waiting list for 50 Shades of Grey has grown. On Saturday 876 are waiting for the book. This book has become the Golden Girls Twilight. Granny's are asking for this book. One lady whispered in my ear, hey maybe this book can bring the animal out of me in the bedroom. I must have turned red or purple because she said Oh, no I hope you don't think I'm a freak? I told her I understand. I gave her the Isaac from Love Boat wink and smile.
Another Granny came in and asked if the book came in large print. She wanted to know if the book could help her. I wanted to laugh because she wanted the book in large print plus she looked like she use to be "fresh" in her young days.
I don't plan on reading this book, I'll just wait for the Senior Sex Kittens to give the  juicy details.
HAPPY READING;-) ME-OW!

Can You Be My Boyfriend.....Only On FB;-)

Remember when guys use to post pics of  their many "girlfriends."I think it's so funny females are posting pics of a different boyfriend every two months. You're in love with this guy and the other guy and the other, other guy. After you break up you  change your status and post how he made your life miserable. They all made your life miserable. The next week you post  your new found love pictures. You're so happy.You feel so good when he's around.He brings the sunshine to your life and then BOOM! You change your status to single. You post sad love songs and quotes. You take pics with your best friends because they are your "new boyfriends" and they are soooo important to you. After a while (a week) you feel the need to go on a hunt again.You hit your FB list looking for single status or go to the club in search of a new MAN. You hit the jackpot again. You  meet the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE- AGAIN. You grab your camera and proceed to post your pics and change your status.You post, "I'm happy again, life is beautiful with you."
Did you ever think you look like a hoe?  Or desperate.Chill for a second. You're switching men like crazy. Give your brain, heart and your "vanina" a break.

Once you are out of High School having a boyfriend on your arm isn't important.What are you trying to prove? Are you trying to prove you can get a man with one click or snap?
Have you ever thought it's not the men it's you? Wake up ladies NO MAN CAN MAKE YOU! Relationships will come and go, but if you keep all of your relationships for 6 months and you move on quickly you will never find yourself. Seek help.
 Finally,when you post pics with different guys every other month remember these are your pictures  your friends, co-workers, and family are seeing this. Chances are they think you have a problem you just don't know you have a problem. One of them might confront you.Please don't get an attitude and talk about their failed relationships. You can't judge them. At least they take breaks. Now, don't get me wrong some might  support this behavior and post "you guys are so cute". "You look happy"they're either liars or  crazy like you.
PLEASE STOP LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR & SEEK HELP!